Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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