maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize