I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
