I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i think my cat just said my name.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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