speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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