we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Can I color on your dick again?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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