I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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