I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize