Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize