i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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