This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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