ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize