he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
