I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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