I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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