I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
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Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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