so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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