There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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