So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
