Sry I called you an 8
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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