Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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