I'm drive I can fine osifer
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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