Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize