i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
