We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
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they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
They are going to name an STD after you.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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