Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
