i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize