Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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