Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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