I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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