You're so nebulous sometimes
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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