she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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