She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
