i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Never underestimate the power of titties
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
