Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it

(651): View more from Minnesota

nevermind its newpaper

Fav 29 5832 1285
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(407): View more from Florida

I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."

Fav 16 3500 1322
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?

Fav 39 1001 4848
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(647): View more from Ontario

she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener

Fav 22 4359 2292
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(515): View more from Iowa

Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.

Fav 3 1753 911
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(307): View more from Wyoming

You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.

Fav 10 710 2098
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(303): View more from Colorado

My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?

Fav 4 1445 850
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(720): View more from Colorado

To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours

Fav 1 1145 636
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(317): View more from Indiana

It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick

Fav 0 40 57
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