everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
