True but thats because hes a fetus.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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