areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
