Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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