you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize