im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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