i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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