i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
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i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
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We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.