I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels