Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.