like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
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I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
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not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.