Sponge bath it is.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
