were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
