Non-Jews are for practice
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The Olympian is in my bed
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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