Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
