So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
