Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
