Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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