This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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