I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
