Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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