6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
