help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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