so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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