The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
