The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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